Here is the latest Coffee & Pearls Podcast:
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My husband read an article about how important the first five minutes with your spouse are when you get home from work so we started focusing on this. We pause and spend five minutes with each other before jumping into other things. This works most days unless something is actively being cooked or we happen to have an appointment we have to rush off to.
We’ve pressed ourselves to examine excuses. Most things can wait. You can stop and spend five minutes with your spouse most days when they get home.
That was a great idea but I ended up emotionally dumping on him during this five minutes. TODAY WAS SO HARD! Let me tell you all the crazy things that happened. It’s like my day had been building up inside me like a pressure and it just needed to pop and spill out like Nickelodeon slime all over him.
He would look at me shocked and not sure what to do or say.
Suffice it to say… it wasn’t exactly a restful five minutes. We quickly realized that it wasn’t working and we decided to change the rules. We brought in a practice we do during our weekly goals review meeting that we have where we each choose five positive things that happened during the week. But instead, we changed it to “Three Awesome Things” for our daily review.
Now, when he comes home, we each take turns asking the other, “What are three awesome things that happened today?”
There is something interesting about the word “awesome” that sparks interesting ideas. You really have to think about how to make ordinary things seem extraordinary. But the more we do this, the easier it is because God is awesome and He is part of our whole day.
I can always think of something. Children are wonderful and creative and they’re always doing funny things. And even though he works at a somewhat boring desk job, he comes up with really interesting things too! This isn’t a new idea. It’s just a spin on focusing on the things we’re grateful for.
As I’m writing this article, I had a pretty rough day. I missed a really important job appointment because I had a flat tire. My client was really understanding, my mom watched my kids and I had money to go and buy a new tire. That’s pretty amazing! Like really, I could have thought it was the worst day ever. I could have dwelled on the yuckiness of my unplanned day. But instead, I was sitting at the tire company praising God that I was able to take care of this situation when there have been many years in my life where I would not have been able to logistically or financially.
I also look for awesome things to share with my husband now. It almost feels like a game. It has me searching for God’s amazing hand instead of dwelling on all the mundane annoyances.
And again, this isn’t a new idea but maybe you needed to hear it today. I know I needed it a few weeks ago when I was wallowing in Boo Hoo Land and wanting to hide under the covers all day. I needed to be reminded that our God is an awesome God! Living in 2016 is awesome! I needed a little cheerleading in my life. A little “over the top, optimistic, praise the Lord, life is good” kind of reminder.
Of course I have bad days. And yes, it’s good to rest with your spouse and share those hardships. We have just learned that when we do that in the first five minutes of seeing each other have a day apart, it tends to weaken our ability to support each other. By creating a positive, God affirming five minutes when we are thankful for our day, no matter what happened, we have more strength to tackle the hardships that did come and any that might come later in the evening.
The LORD has done great things for us; We are glad. Psalm 126:3
I think I’m going to start doing this with my friends too. Instead of opening our conversation with struggles, first taking the time to talk about three great things that have happened lately. Then we can talk about the hard stuff. But we are all so blessed and we all love Jesus so much. Shouldn’t we rejoice in this together more?
So tell me, what are three awesome things that happened to you today?